We've had quite a month here at the Krulik house.
Danil was so excited to experience his first Christmas with our family. It was so much fun to talk about Jesus' Birthday and all the things that we do to celebrate it.
On Christmas Eve, we went to church. The sermon involved calling children from the audience to take part in the Christmas Story. Danil, who loves to be on stage, of course agreed to play along.
(Abbey is playing Mary, Grant is the Lion (?) and Danil is a sheep)
After church, we went home and decorated cookies for Santa.
And off to bed we went, after all Santa doesn't come if you are awake.
Christmas morning was filled with lots of excitement. I woke the kids up, Kevin read the Christmas story then we went down stairs. Danil was very excited to receive a new bike from Mom and Dad.
The next day was also a BIG day for Danil.
It was his 6th Birthday.
The night before his birthday, Danil told me how the morning of his birthday played out in his mind. He told me what he would say and even told me what I would say . . .then off to bed he went.
On his birthday, Danil woke up and came into our bedroom. He said "It's my Birthday!" and I said "Yay, Happy Birthday Danil!"
Danil then exclaimed "Wow Mom, it happened just like I thought it would!"
We had a party that evening for Danil.
It was very hard for him to wait for everyone to arrive. This photo was taken 3 hours before the party was to start. I found him sitting by the door waiting for his guest to arrive.
But finally it was time for his birthday party!
This is something that Danil was SO EXCITED to do for the first time . . .blow out his candles on his birthday.
He had a great time and felt like such a big boy. He somehow thought that by turning 6 he would receive so many more previleges then he did at the young age of 5. Unfortunately after a few days, he realized that being 6 was not really different then 5... "Darn it!"
When Danil's 6 months home hit, I wanted to share how he was doing but alas . . .I couldn't and didn't feel like I could.
I had heard from other adoptive parents that at about 6 months sometimes kids exhibit some regression. I was ready, or so I thought.
Danil and I had gone to see a behavioral therapist. She explained to me some of the things that Danil was possibly experiencing. It made sense. It gave me a small glimpse into what his thought processes might be.
One thing that made a lot of sense to me was Danil's level of anxiety. He does well for a while but fear and sadness creep back into his mind. He stores them until he is really anxious. Then he says to himself,
"Hey, this isn't fair!"
"Why am I the only one anxious here?"
"I'll fix this!"
And he does. He'll bounce from one person to the next trying to make anyone he can mad and anxious.
One person he can always count on is Grant. Then when Grant and Danil become anxious, I'm usually the next to follow. He can sometimes get Kevin and Abbey there but not always.
One night it was Abbey's job to straighten the pillows on the couch and fold the blankets. As soon as she would fold one, Danil was right there to pull it off the couch and mess it up. Abbey continued to fold the blankets and Danil continued to mess them up right after she had folded one. She told Danil "Danil, I know your mad and you want me to be mad too. But Danil, I don't care if you mess up the blankets. I'm still going to be happy, you can't make me mad." He tried again. She repeated that she was happy no matter what. Well, shortly after this conversation, Danil stomped out of the room.
1 point for Abbey!!
Now combine Danil's monthly cycle with 6 month regression and you have a nice storm on your hands.
I'm not going to lie, emotionally it was very rough.
There were days that I was at a loss of what to do. Days I wanted to give up. Days where I would find myself in tears in the supermarket. Days where I lost my temper. And then toward the end there were days where it took everything in me to be nice to Danil. And alas there were moments that I was bitter that he was treating us this way.
And finally the last day, after a week long of yellow cards at school and constant hateful words that came from his mouth, I resorted to the silent treatment. I know, that is SO adult of me. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't look at him and smile. I couldn't talk without feeling angry. So I said as little as possible. That night at bed, I forced myself to hug him then I told him that Mommy was done with his meanness. If he wasn't going to be nice and do the right thing then Mommy wasn't going to be nice either. I had drawn the line in the sand.
Ever since then, 3 days and counting, Danil has been a different boy. Was it my silent treatment? I have no idea. Was it prayer? Yes.
I was told by a fellow adoptive mom at church that I kept "popping" into her head last week. She knew that something must have been going on. She didn't know what it was but she knew that she was meant to pray for me. And I know that she was not the only praying. I'm not one to hide my feelings and this past week, I was weary and needed rest. God cares. He gathered his followers to pray. He answered.
I also wanted to give you an update on how Danil is doing in school. The answer is very well. What a smart boy God has given me. He understands the concept of letters, words and sentences. He can identify beginning sounds, ending sounds, number of syllables, rhyming words, sort items, understands comparative words, write numbers 1-20 and gets this . . .is labeled at "Above Reading Level"! Now let me just say, when I saw this I questioned it. Really? He doesn't even know all of his alphabet sounds. He struggles with some sight words. But he's above reading level? I spoke with his teacher today. She showed me the sentences that Danil was tested on and read! Well, shut the door! I also had the pleasure of playing a reading game with a few students in the hallway at school. They had to pick a card out of the bag and read the word. They were words like "jet, pop, dad, cap" and so on. And low and behold, Mr. Smartypants Danil read the cards very well. Let me just tell you how amazing this is because unlike many English speaking children, Danil doesn't know what some of the words mean. For example, he got the card that read "cap." He sounded it out "c-a-p," then said with a smile "cap." Then I said "Danil, do you know what a cap is?" He said "no." Amazing little boy.
I'll leave you with this. Danil told me that God wanted his first Mommy and Daddy in heaven with him. I responded that he did and we are so thankful that God chose us to be his last Mommy and Daddy. And for some reason, that only God knows, he wanted Danil to live here in America. Abbey said "Yes Danil, I think God wants you to do amazing things when you get older." and with that Danil smiled.
(Danil climbing a rock wall. He made it to the top!)
This is the best post ever. It had me cracking up and crying!
Love you Missy!
Allison
Posted by: allison | Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 11:44 AM
Glad that last three days have been a total turnaround. We saw some regression from D too but, mainly self soothing although she decided to be mean to Alayna for about a week. I was pulling my hair out by the end of the week.
Thankful they have worked through it.
We continue to lift you in prayer and are always excited to see an update.
Posted by: Rochelle Cannon | Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 05:23 PM