Our Adoption On Washington

As the Fear Creep In

 

"I think what you guys are doing is great."

"Wow, I could never do that."

"You are so brave."

 

I could go on and on with the questions and comments that we receive when we tell people about the journey that God has laid before us.  

 

But let me be perfectly honest with you right now.

 As we wait to see what God is going to do next, I am scared.

 

Scared.

 

I'm not brave.

I'm not an exceptional human being.

I'm just scared.

 

We are at a place of comfort in our family life.  Do we still have daily struggles? Yes. But they are normal everyday struggles like chores, homework, and hogging all the hot water.

 

What lies before us in our path is unknown.

 

And the unknown can lead your mind is so many different directions.  

Will she "fit" into our family?

Will she sleep? Will she scream?

Will she love our family?

Will we like (because love is a choice) her?

Will the kids like her?

Will we struggle with food issues?

with sensory issues?

memory issues?

mobility issues?

Do I have what it takes?

Can I do this again?

Can my family endure this again? 

 

Most of the time with this adoption, I have been faith driven.  I have been able to look at people when they question whether or not I am scared and say,

"Nope, God has asked us to do this and he's got this."

 

But I'm human. I received news this week that our wait for a referral could be much longer then we anticipated. And this waiting, which we never did with our adoption with Danil because the entire process only lasted 4 months total, is allowing fear to creep in like fog rolling under a closed doorway.

 

Yesterday, I sat down to choose scripture to write on a card for each one of my kids.  This is something I do every week. The kids look forward to a note from me on their pillow each Monday.  I looked up scripture for my teenage daughter and this verse stopped me in my tracks. It's a well know and much used verse.

 

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31. 

 

You see, I want the Lord to have mercy on me and this child and put this waiting to an end.  I want him to move with lightning speed in this adoption, like he did with Danil's.

 

But the Lord says,

"Wait Missy, wait. I will renew you daughter. I will take you places you have never dreamed and your soul with be filled with so much life and love.  Do not, my child, be afraid to walk.  Look around and take it in.  To process this of what I am doing in your life. Do not think for one minute that I, your Father, am working in your life. Do not fall, do not let doubt overtake you. For I created you, Missy, to live life and live it abundantly."

 

So you see, I'm not brave.  

But the Lord is.

 

Because you see, I'm not doing this.  

I'm not choosing this life but surrending my life, the best that I can, to him.  

Because, my Father in Heaven knows best.  

 

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?" My hope is in you. Psalm 39:7

 

Thank you for letting me be honest with you.  

 

The Sounds of the Adoption Process.

Do you hear it?

My fingers tapping.

The tick tocking of the clock.

That's called the sound of waiting.

That is currently where we are at in our adoption process of our Burkinabe princess or "Mia" as we call her.  Will Mia be her name? Only God knows, but until then it was much easier to give her a name so our "Mia" it is. 

At the end of October we completed our home-study process. This process took much longer then our non-hague home-study but we are thankful that it only took 3 months, some states have a much longer process. We mailed off our immigration approval paperwork the first of November and received the approval the first of January.  We had a few issues with the approval in which the officer put the wrong year on the approval and it kept arriving in the mail smeared with ink. We were finally successful in getting a clean, correct copy after 2 tries and a 2 week delay.  

Our dossier in now in the hands of the Burkina Faso government.  It has been since January 24th. 

Some people have asked where we are at in the process.  Here is the 6 step process to adopt from Burkina Faso.

1. Choose an Accredited Adoption Service Provider
2. Apply to USCIS to be found eligible to adopt
3. Be matched with a child by authorities in Burkina Faso
4. Apply to USCIS for the child to be found eligible for immigration to the United States and receive U.S. agreement to proceed with the adoption
5. Adopt (or Obtain Legal Custody) of child in Burkina Faso
6. Obtain a U.S. immigrant visa for your child and bring your child home

We are currently on step #3.  The Central Authority has our Dossier and is working on matching us with a child that based on that.  I have no idea how long this process usually takes. I can not tell you if our file has even been looked at yet.

This journey is more like searching in the dark for a light switch.  You know the switch is there, you know it's general location but you have no idea when your fingers are going to touch it. 

In the meantime, we are still raising money so when the time comes we have it on hand.  Abbey recently committed to raising her portion of her plane ticket to bring Mia home. She raised over $900 in a little over 2 weeks selling her peppermint patties, chocolate drizzled pretzels, and chocolate chip cookies. WOW!! She was stunned and overwhelmed but so grateful for this blessing.  She has approximately $600 more to raise but I'd say she's made a huge dent, wouldn't you! 

Soon we need to get started on the renovations of our 3rd floor attic.  We will be putting 2 bedrooms, one 3/4 bath and a play area for the kids on the 3rd floor which is currently an attic.  Each child is excited to have their own room and space.  There is A LOT to be done, including subfloor, wiring, plumbing, insulation, new window, heating, cooling...and the list goes on and on. I can't wait to get all of this completed so that we can start preparing Mia's bedroom.  I have it pictured in my mind and it's beautiful.

So soon, besides the sounds of fingers tapping, you'll hear hammers pounding and saws spinning.

and hopefully, sounds of glee as we see a picture of our daughter for the first time.

 

 

 

 

A New Path

Our new journey as a family of five has taken us down a new path.

A path that was hard to see, and sometimes hard for us to make the choice collectively to walk down.

But with much prayer and patience, we have chosen to link hands and journey down the path together. 

It started shortly after our arrival home with Danil.  Kevin and I went out for a small date.  I sat across the table from him, looked him in the eye and told him that I really felt that God was not done with us yet.  There was a little girl.

Somewhere.

I told him that I didn't know when or where but I wanted to let him know what I felt God was speaking to me.

 

Throughout our wait for God to speak to us, we encountered many signs that said "Now is not the time."  We were struggling to acclimate Danil into our family.  We knew that we had to create stability and security in this relationship.  A firm foundation was needed.  Another sign was not the whole family was on board.  Heck, there were times I was not on board.  Adoption is hard work and uncomfortable.  I questioned many times if I could do it again.

And "the" question came up again...you know the same one that was asked by our biological kids when we approached them about adopting Danil,

"Aren't we enough?"

"Why is God calling us to be uncomfortable, to sacrifice?"

"Why can't we just be comfortable?"

As a parent, these questions sting. But as a Christian, these questions are things we ask our father constantly if we are walking in his will.

The answer is "It's not about us."

We prayed for clarity, for an answer, and for a change of heart.

In May, our church sent Kevin and I to the Orphan Summit in Nashville with the hopes of figuring out how to start an orphan ministry in our church. It was an amazing experience. As we got up to leave a session, Kevin looked at me and said he was ready.  From that point he has been the driving force in this journey.

 

We were invited by some friends at church to meet with a spiritual counselor that was staying with them.  I was so skeptical. Kevin and I decided to just go meet with him.  It was an amazing experience.  He confirmed through God's word that we were journeying down the right path.  But where? My heart was so sad that I was unwilling to go to Ukraine again.  I can't.  I can't be away from my children for 36+ days again, especially Danil.  He's experienced so much trauma already.  I just couldn't.  So if not Ukraine, then where?  I had been searching.  I explored the processes in Bulgaria, Asian countries and the United States.  All were dead ends.  The spiritual counselor looked at me and asked me the question "Where?" I broke down. There are SO MANY, how do I choose?  How do I choose a child? The burden was too heavy for me.

He turned to Kevin. "Where?"  Kevin answered "Africa."

My heart sank. "Africa?"

In March, I attended an adoptive mom retreat.  In complete honesty, I was offended at this conference.  All the booths were promoting adoption from Africa.  My eyes had seen different. And my closed heart exclaimed "There are orphans all over the world, not just in Africa."

So I asked again "Africa, really?"

During our time with the counselor we also prayed that the hearts of our children, one child in particular, would change toward adoption.  The next day, I discussed our meeting with the counselor. This child was very intrigued by his words to us and exclaimed "Where are we going to get her?"

Praise God. 

Still skeptical that this was the right direction, I began looking for photo listing of children from Africa. Two little girls stood out.  So I inquired. They were from Burkina Faso, Africa. Where? Never heard of it. So I inquired some more.  Turns out its a small county in Northwest Africa about the size of Colorado just North of Ghana. The wait time is longer but the time in country is about 2 weeks so this fit my desire to not leave Danil for an extended period of time.

So God and I had a little talk. "Lord, if this is where you want us to go, you are going to have to be very clear...like a flashing sign or something."  God smiled.

In the meantime, we contacted an agency and started the initial steps. Our home study appointments were scheduled.

We received a phone call.  It was our neighbor of the last ten years.  Her home was going to sheriff sale in a little over a month.  We were stunned. We knew that times were hard for her.  She had experience the loss of a son by suicide 6 years ago.  Since then we had witnessed a slow spiral downward. We did what we could for her.  We mowed her yard, took out her trash and hugged her as she cried.  We told her many times that if times got hard financially to let us know.  We had no idea it had gone this far. So Kevin and I spoke about our options.  We had always wanted to purchase her home if it became available because it is so close to our home.  It actually was part of our property until the 1940's when it was sold after the death of original owner.

 

My heart was so conflicted.  Was this a test?  Was I suppose to choose between a child and a house?  Did God want me to confirm where my treasure lied, with his will or with possessions?  I prayed, I cried and I sought counsel.  

In the meantime, our neighbor came over and sat at our table.  She was in tears.  She had been through so much in her life.  She was sure God had a plan for her life but she was so lost on what that was.  She started with a story.

"It's just a house, I don't care.  My life changed 40 years ago when I visited a friend in Africa. He wasn't really a good friend, more of an acquaintance. But while I was there I looked into the eyes of starving children and a house doesn't matter."

Kevin said "Oh really, what part of Africa."

 

She answered "Oh, it's a little county, not well known.  It was once called Upper Volta but now is called Burkina Faso."

I lost it.  I sobbed.  She looked at me with great concern and grabbed my hand.

I couldn't speak.  Here was my flashing sign.  

God is so good to meet us where we are at.

We proceeded with the purchase of her home.  We were told by many that it was a long shot.  That banks do not negotiate that fast and securing a mortgage would take a while.  So we surrendered it to God.  But I was still very conflicted.  You see the down payment for the house was the money we were planning on using for the adoption.  But Kevin had more faith.  He looked at me one day and said "Our God is bigger then this, he can accomplish both."

 

Well long story short, we closed on the house.  I wrote on the day of closing about our plans to purchase this home. A friend wrote that when we do God's will, he blesses us.  All this time I had been looking at this situation as a test, not a blessing.  Shame on me. 

So our home study is now complete.  Our family and church family pulled together helping us raise $3,000 in 3 weeks.  It was such a blessing.  We have paid for our home study, agency fee and commitment to the Burkina Faso program which has totaled $9,100 so far.  Adoption is not cheap but if you take the leap, God will provide abundantly.  He showed that to us in Danil's adoption and now in this adoption.  In a few months we will be required to pay another $4000. But that will be an exciting payment because our new little girl will be revealed.  All we know is that she was wonderfully and beautifully knitted by God and that she is loved far more then we could ever imagine.

So please join with our family as we hold hands down this path, chosen and directed by God. 

Answered Prayers

In April of 2010, Megan received a letter from Reece's Rainbow.  It stated that she had been matched with Danil in Ukraine.  The letter asked that she fully commit to praying for her assigned child until they werehome with their new family. Along with the letter was a picture of Danil.

              

I think this picture was taken of Danil when he was three years old.  This would have been shortly after he was placed in the orphanage.

In March 2011, I was contacted by Megan.  She was so excited that Danil had a family commit to adopt him.  And better yet, she lived only 30 minutes away.

Now stop, and take this all in.

She was matched with this little boy who live 1/2 way across the world.  She prayed for him.  And 11 months later she finds out that he will soon live only 30 minutes away.  He could have been adopted by anyone in the world but no, God chose a family in the same state!  Yes, he is amazing!

Today, they sat together for a picture.

 

Thank you Megan for praying for our son. 

Thank you God for answered prayers. 

We spent the afternoon playing at a park. 

 

 

 
 
We also got to spend some time with Megan and her children.  Megan was in Ukraine at the same time as me, adopting an adorable 4 year old girl. 

Megan is an amazing women.  It was a comfort to me that she was in country the same time as me.  We were able to speak a few times on the phone while in Ukraine.  She came home with her daughter the day before Kevin arrived home.  Kevin actually met her for the first time in the US Embassy in Ukraine. 

Do I have to say it again? God is AMAZING!

 
  

Dasha and Danil sitting together. 

Danil had a great time at the park except for a few injuries.  The first injury was to the gut which caused him to vomit and bite his lip and the second was a bee sting to the finger.  It was interesting to tend to a hurt child that you couldn't communicate with to see what happened.  Luckily, a lady had seen the first incident and I put the pieces together on the bee sting. He seems to be doing okay now . . .physically.

Just before writing this post, Danil asked me for a cookie.  I reached to give him 2 cookies and he said he wanted 3 cookies.  I told him no he could have the 2 cookies in his hand.  So he looked at me and put the 2 cookies back in the box.  Guess he thought he won that battle.  I'm thinking not. 

   

Understanding our Short Comings and Celebrating our Successes

I know I haven't blogged much, but every time I want to I just don't have the energy . . .or there is a scream/whine from the other room. 

There are sometimes that I think, "Wow, I can do this!"

And there are sometimes that I think, "Ugh! I can't do this another minute!"

But there is one thing I know about being a mom . . .you have to!

Tomorrow, it will be 4 weeks since Danil said goodbye to the orphanage.  The only life he has known for the last 2 years. 

I've learned alot about myself.  I've learned a few of my short comings. 

One is that I fail to look at the big picture.  I get caught up in the moment.  I get upset at Danil for things that I think he should know.  But then when I step back, I remember that he doesn't know. 

I remember that life outside the orphanage is very different then life inside. 

I remember that he may be acting out not out of defiance but out of frustration that he can't explain his point of view. 

I remember how far he has come.

Bedtime is SO much better. 

3 weeks ago he screamed, he threw a fit, he hit, he would not stay in his bed. 

Last night he took a bath (with plenty of toys of course!), got his pjs on, picked out a book, sat on my lap and listened to the story.  After story, he hopped into his bed.  He asked to say prayer. 

"Thank you Abbey, Thank you Papa, Thank you Mama, Thank you Brother, Thank you Jesus, Thank you God, Amen" 

Then he called out each one of our names and we said our prayer.  After prayer, he layed down and covered up.  He was waiting for hugs and kisses with a smile.  Then he said "Night, Night."   

Now after I went downstairs, I only had to return 2 times.  Once because he wanted the fan off and Grant wanted the fan on.  The second because he was singing very loud.   I instructed him that it was time to be quiet and go to sleep. . .and he did.

His english is getting better too.

3 weeks ago he could say:

Please, Thank you, Happy Birthday, our names and Yummy, Yummy for my Tummy and count to 5.

Today he says:

The above plus Can I please have, Help me please, Come Here, counts to 11, Good Morning, Good night, Jesus, Chicken Nuggets, No, Green, Yellow, Purple, Amen, Holy Moly, Oh my goodness, Jasper, Kitty, Hi, Bye, Grandma, Pam (she's worked really hard on this one so I had to include it), Thank you and Your Welcome.

In the past 4 weeks I have been introducted to my shortcomings. 

I've had to apologize to God many times for my behavior and ask for forgiveness. 

But in the past 4 weeks I have been in awe of God's Power and Grace.

Every time, someone comments on how much he looks like a Krulik

Every time, I see Danil and Grant play nice with each other (which doesn't happen often but when it does . . .I know God had a hand in it!)

Every time, Danil runs up and hugs me for no reason except for the fact that I am his Mama.

Every time, I look over and see my three children and think that it was only in February that we committed to having Danil join us or that God said that Danil WILL be your son!

 

 Taken from my favorite English sentence from Danil thus far,

"Thank you God"

 

 

 

Home Sweet Home

Our Journey home began at 3:00 am on Friday, July 8th.  After about 5 hours of sleep, I woke up and prepared for our long flight.  At about 3:30, the was an unexpected knock at the door.  It was our driver.  He was not suppose to be there until 4 am.  He was ready to go.  I hesitated a little then said "Okay, but I haven't even woke Danil up."  He came in the apartment and helped me wake Danil up.  He spoke to Danil in Russian and Danil was up and out of bed.  We threw on his clothes, brushed his teeth and piled our stuff in our dufflebag and closed it.  Not the way I wanted to start this journey, but when you Driver says go, you go.

We arrived at the Kiev airport.  Our driver got us settled in a seat to wait and took off.  Soon Danil became very irritated that we were not getting in line to get on the airplane.  At this point they were not issuing boarding passes for our flight (because we had arrived too early).  Danil saw a line at another ticket counter that only had about 3 people waiting.  He could not understand why I would not get in that line.  I tried to motion to him that we needed to stand in that line when they would start giving out our tickets for our flight.  Well he was not having it.  Let the fit and screaming begin. I looked around for the other driver I had seen earlier but no luck.  Time to handle this on my own.  Well, lets just say all I could do was push my luggage cart and walk him around.  Yes he was still yelling at me but the screaming had stopped.  I decide to stand in line even though it was not our turn.  Then God sent me a wonderful American woman.  She came to me and asked if she could help.  She could not speak Russian but she would do anything to assist me.  She helped me push my cart through the line while I kept and eye on Danil.  I briefly told her our story and she encouraged me.  Encouragement was exactly what I needed.  She was a missionary there to teach English.  She got me to the ticket counter and gave me a big hug.  Thank you God for sending this wonderful woman when I needed her. 

We got our boarding passes from another wonderful woman at the ticket counter.  I asked her to explain to Danil the process of our journey home.  She explained to him in russian that we would take 3 planes to our home. And that at each airport we would have to wait to get on the next plane.  I was so thankful for this woman. After this we headed to security.  We made it through security with only a few comments.  Lets just say people stare and judge when an American woman is alone with a russian speaking child.  I even had one woman in security looked at me and say "You don't understand him?" and I said "No" and she shook her head in disgust. 

One thing I found out while in country was a lot of people are not supportive Americans adopting their children.  Some believe that we are getting paid by our government to come and adopt their children or that we are harvesting their organs.  Yes, people actually believe this.  I want to scream at them and tell them to stop judging because they will not adopt these children.  It's the "we don't want them but don't want you to have them either" approach that makes me so sad. 

Anyways long story short we made it to the plane.

 

Soon we were off the ground and heading toward Germany.  Danil was all smiles and did very well.  We sat next to a very nice American man.  Danil ate 2 sweet cornbread muffins and drank some juice.  He slept for maybe a hour. 

We arrived in Munich, and proceeded to our gate.  This area was not open yet so we patiently waited for the area to open.  Our total layover was 3 hours.  I was hoping that Danil would lay down and sleep.  But by the end of the layover he was doing just the opposite.  He was wired.  I tried to calm him down because by this point he was climbing across people.  He threw another huge fit because I made him sit down.  Let's just say people got an ear full of screaming and sass.  But the good thing, there were many americans around me.  They too were encouraging me.

On the flight to Chicago, god blessed me again.  We got to sit directly behind business class.  If anyone has travel internationally on one of these air buses, it is the much desired seat with the 2 feet of extra leg room.  Next to me was a gentleman from Ohio that was on his way home from Poland with his newly adopted 1 year old little girl. He was a wonderful, helpful man.  We agreed right away that we would help each other as much as possible on this flight.  He would help me when I needed a break and I would do the same for him.  The flight went very well.  It was about a 9 hour flight.  Danil slept for 3 hours on the floor in front of me.  He would not eat anything on the flight.  I did get him to eat some pretzels and on of the flight attendants brought him some ice cream and of course he ate that.  Danil only threw a couple fits on the plane but I tried to understand because even as an adult, I was over this flight about 5 hours into it!

We arrived in Chicago and started through customs.  Apparently, a LOT of international flights came in at the same time because I heard so many seasoned travelers say the had never seen it this full.  So needless to say the wait was long! Danil did wonderful standing in line.  At one point he tripped and hit his chin on the hard floor.  God bless the people who picked up my bags and carried them for me while I tended to Danil and his tears.  We finally made it to customs!  I handed them our passports.  Danil had the type of Visa that when he was accepted into the US, he automatically became a US citizen.  The man looked over our paperwork, put it in a pink folder and STAMPED his passport!

We then headed to pick up our checked luggage from some not so nice luggage handlers . . .needless to say they were not so polite or helpful.  But one gentleman came out of no where, grabbed my luggage, put it on a luggage cart for me and sent me on my way to immigration.  We handed our file over to a woman and was told to take a seat. After about 15 minutes we were given our paperwork and told to proceed to another area.

We then proceeded to go through another security check and then sent on our way.  I rechecked our bag and took off to find our gate.  We found the terminal then proceeded to get our boarding passes.  We got our boarding passes and proceed through another security screening.  After a long walk to our gate we arrived.  This whole process took a total of 3 hours! We arrived at our gate with only 10 minutes to spare.  Then my heart sank.  They had overbooked our flight.  Danil and I were the only ones that had boarding passes, checked in but still had not received a seating assignment.  They called for all passenger to board but we were not allowed.  Danil didn't understand and he stood there and sobbed.  Big tears and a sad face.  It was heart breaking. The gentleman explained there was currently only one seat on the plane.  I prayed.  The final boarding call came.  Another seat opened up and Danil and I got on the plane.  Praise God.

Danil immediately fell asleep before we even taxied down the runway.  He was still sleeping when we arrived in Indianapolis 45 minutes later.  I tried to wake him with no success.  So I had to wait until everyone was off the plane so I could situate my carryons and pick him up to carry him.  In the terminal, I explained that we were home.  Danil was very angry and I think that he did not believe me.  I'm finding that Danil has trust issues.  I know it's a big shock, after being abandoned when he was only 3 years old.  So I just took his hand and walked with him.  We walked down the long corridor and I saw balloons up ahead.  Then I saw Abbey.  I looked at Danil and began to sob and smile.  I said "There they are Danil, we are here."  He saw my expression and tears.  He smile from EAR to EAR.  It clicked.  Danil finally trusted that we were indeed home!

 

He saw Papa and immediately hugged him.  I tearfully grabbed Abbey and hugged her so tight.  Then I looked at my Grant.  Oh, how much he had grown!!  I hugged him and exclaimed to him how much he had grown.  Grant and I always have a conversation about him growing.  I tell him to "Stop Growing!" and he giggles and says "I can't."

At this point I was a sobbing mess and was just so thankful to be home again.  I hugged everyone and thanked them so much!

 

This was such a hard journey.  But this is why God called us on this journey, a little boy named Danil needed love.  He needed a family.

 
My dad with Danil.

 
Big Sister, Abbey and Big Brother, Grant

 
Great Grandma Jeffy and Danil

 
Danil's Family!

 

The Welcoming Party and Danil heading Home Sweet Home! Notice I'm holding a Starbucks Chai Tea Latte, my welcome home gift from my wonderful husband.  It's so good to be home!

(Oh, and I can't forget to tell you about an awesome group of people who stood along the road that enters our town with signs welcoming us home! One right after the other! Thank you! It was a wonderful welcome home!)

 

Goodnight Ukraine!

It is nighttime in Ukraine.  I just got one very excited boy to sleep.  He is so excited because he knows that when he wakes up, we will be heading home to America.  Exactly one month to the day from when he met his parents for the first time!

Can you imagine? 

This boy has been through so much in his short 5 years.  He's suffered the lost of his biological mother, abandonment by the only family he ever knew, then placed in a orphanage where he was loved only to be transferred a year later.  Oh, and he was also told by society that no one would ever want him. 

Tomorrow he starts a new journey.  He'll be reunited with his Papa, meet his brother, sister and family, see his new hometown, and sleep in his new room in his new home.  Not to mention everyone will speak a language he's only heard his mama, papa, and a few others speak.

Can you imagine?   

I pray for peace and strength for this little boy.  This little boy who for the first time in his life has hope for a bright future.  He has hope to live a perfectly normal life and one day have a family of his own. 

For the first time has Parents.

For the first time has a brother and a sister.

For the first time he is free to hope and dream and know that he's possibilities are endless!

So goodnight Ukraine one last time.  

 

And Hello America!   

 

 

On this Solid Rock I Stand

On this solid rock I stand . . .all other ground is sinking sand.

What is for sure on this journey?

I stand on a solid rock placed there for me and for you to stand on by God.

The ground has felt a little soft the last couple day but it's only because I looked away.  Isn't that what Peter did too?

I realized tonight that the thing that I have failed to do since I brought Danil home is open my bible.  I've been so focused on him and his needs that I took my eyes off the Lord.  No wonder I feel like I'm sinking. 

Sure I've prayed and shared my love of the Lord, but I have not been in his word.  I don't know why I didn't see it until tonight.

My day began with a smile.  Oh how I love his smile in the morning.  He did very well at the Embassy and yes we got his Visa!!  So we are all set to travel.  We got back to the apartment and had lunch, which was bread, cheese and kielbasa again.  This is all this kid will eat!

Then we watched a movie "How to Train your Dragon" and ate popcorn.

 
   

After the movie, we put our shoes on and went for a walk.  I wanted to take Danil to a cathedral because every time we go past a church he gets very excited.  I was told on Saturday that Danil asked who found his parents for him and one of the orphanage volunteers told him the God found his parents for him.  She also told him that he needed to thank God for finding his parents.  So Danil already has knowledge about God which is a blessing. 

So off to the cathedral we headed.  Danil did very well for the first mile then he started to laugh and ran away from me.  I freaked out.  I'm sure it was comical seeing an american woman chasing a child down the sidewalk.  He slipped out of my sight and when I reached him we was hiding around the corner of the building.  My heart raced.  I called my facilitator to talk to Danil.  She did but she said she didn't know if it was going to work. 

He began to hold my hand again and everything was fine.  We reached the cathedral. 

 

We went inside and Danil saw a gift shop area. He went over to it and immediately wanted something.  I offered him 2 things but of course they were not what he wanted.  I told him he could not have what he had picked out but he could have these 2 items.  He agreed but was very mad. 

We got outside and he threw a fit.  At least he waited until we were outside.

So needless to say I had a 1 1/2 mile walk with a little boy who was putting on his feet brakes, trying to push me into traffic, trying to bite, claw and scream his way out from my grip on his wrist.  I tried to stop and calm him down, count to ten, talk softly to him . . . I tried everything I could think of but I didn't work.  The last 20 minutes of the walk was all uphill so by time we got back I had had it. 

In the next half an hour to an hour Danil and I came to the understanding that Mommy was in charge.  I probably broke every rule in the "adoptive parent handbook."   But Danil did learn the english word "Quiet."  This boy knows how to sass big time in Russian!

The rest of the day was smooth sailing.  We played, had supper and did the dishes.

 

So that is our day in a nutshell. 

Now I'm off to dig my bible out of my bag and open it up. 

Have you had a hard day too?  Dig your bible out and step onto solid ground with me.  

Dreaming of America

Happy 4th of July to everyone back home in America!

Today is usually a day spent with our family in Greenlake, Wisconsin.  For the past 4 years our family has attended the Family Life Celebration Week at Greenlake Conference Center along with several families from our church.  It's a wonderful time to fellowship, have devotions, listen to speakers on family related topics, do crafts, sing around the campfire, ride bikes, praise our Lord . . .I could go on and on.  Our family looks forward to this ever year.  And this year was no exception.  The good news, Kevin was able to still take Abbey and Grant.  The bad news, Danil and I did not make it back in time like we had hoped. Oh, how I long to be with them.

Today we took Danil to say "Good-bye" to all that loved him very much at the Baby House.  He was there from May 2009 till August 2010.  While he was there, he won over many hearts.  They were so happy to see him and even happier that he was finally free and going home to a family.  There were many smiles, many hugs, and many tears wiped from the corners of their eyes.  I couldn't understand a word that was said but I felt how much love was in that place.  Danil received many treats and presents.  He was smiling from ear to ear.  With God's help, he conquered the odds . . .he was adopted, he now has hope for a future. 

 

Then we spent the rest of the day in the apartment.  We packed and tried to finish up some of the perishable foods that would not make it on the train ride.  We also had fun too. 

 

We made a blanket tent . . .

 

and we giggled. 

We are trying to make the best of it . . .while we dream of America.

Parenting

Today was interesting to say the least.  It was like most parenting, full of ups and downs. 

This morning started off with a down, with the shattering of the cover on the stove in the kitchen.  It was one of those classic, I think maybe this is the dumbest thing I have ever done, moments.  I won't go into details but it's on permanently on my list.

This moment led to my showering and sobbing at the same time.  I was trying to keep it quiet but Danil heard me.  He told me in Russian "Don't Cry Mama."  I felt so bad but he now knows I'm human. 

After, I got done with my crying spell, Danil started in on his.  But his made me laugh.  He sat on my lap and sulked because he wanted a "Kinder." 

At that point, I needed to get out of the apartment! This apartment has a sore spot with me and I began to blame everything on the apartment.  So I knew I was being completely irrational and needed to walk. 

Danil and I found a park. 

 

After playing for a while, we went to visit a market.  I need to buy a few food items.  Danil saw a truck that he wanted and would not take no for an answer.  But unfortunately, that was the answer.  He began to throw a fit.  Can you image how much fun it is to get a child in the middle of a fit, that doesn't speak your language, and is crying and yelling at you back to your apartment?  Let me tell you, it's a good time!

Our facilitator stopped by our apartment toward the end of the fit.  She was able to talk to him and tell him that he must be good and always stay with Mama.  She then told me she was taking me to the market to help me buy food for Danil.  She knew from a phone call earlier that I was not having a good day, it could have been my sobbing over the phone . . .you think? 

I was very appreciative to her and she said not to worry about it.  She said she couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be in a foriegn country with a new child that you can't communicate with. 

Around lunch we met up with another family.  Danil was very good while we ate.  He of course had plenty to drink but no food.  I was prepared for this so I had already fed him his favorite foods before we left.  We did a lot of walking and Danil did very good at holding my hand the whole time. 

Then we went back to the apartment.  We played in the apartment for many hours.  Danil did great.  He loves to play with anything and everything . . .except toys.  Today his favorite things were an ethernet cord, a flash drive, a flashlight, a tape measure and my high heels.

 

After supper we were escorted by some of the wonderful orphanage volunteers to a really great place called "Fairyland."  It was free to get in and was so much fun.  Here are some of the things that Danil got to experience.

 
Driving a jeep.  Oksana is trailing behind him.  She is helping him know what to do.

 

He climbed on a big train and

 

a big boat.

 

He climbed in a bounce house.

 

 These are some of the wonderful volunteers to have loved Danil.  And he also loves them very much.

After a long night of walking.  We headed back to the apartment.

By this time it was late and time to get down to business of getting ready for bed.

We took a bath.  Which he was not so happy that it was a quick one, so there were tears.

Then I asked him to brush his teeth and he refused.  I told him yes or Mama would do it.  So I think it shocked him when I actually stuck the toothbrush in his mouth and brushed his teeth.  More tears. 

Then we hoped in bed.  I read a story and prayed with a little boy who wanted no part of it.  But I knew that it was time to set the routine.  So he would know what to expect.  He was saying many things but one was the typical "You don't love me."  Oh, if I had a nickle for every time I hear that as a parent. 

But I'm not kidding you when I say that the whole time he had the underlying smirk on his face.  For some reason my 2 boys try so hard to be so mad but they can never fully accomplish it most time .  . .because every time you see that little smile underneath.  Really God?! I can't tell you how much my two boys are alike in so many ways.

He still didn't give up the mad act so I went in the other room.  Soon I heard "Mama come hear and lay with me."  I went in and laid down next to him and he said "I love you Mama." 

Parenting is so hard but so worth those little moments.